We took the kids to see Sing 2 last December. If we didn’t have the Discovery Vitality cards it would have cost us R400! And that’s 2D. But the experience was fine. On the booking the chairs were spaced with an empty chair between but in the cinema chairs weren’t taped off so we just sat together as a family, as many others did too but with spacing between groups.
We saw the new Spidey movie and it was fun. But, as a grump I got annoyed with the kids (who, in my opinion, were too young to even be there in the first place) screamed in delight that he has that outfit in Fortnite…
I think The Force Awakens was the last movie I went to the cinema for. It’s just too expensive, and certainly doesn’t provide value for money, while I can catch the same movie a couple of months later in my comfy chair at home, with a delicious steak dinner in stead of (admittedly decent) popcorn and a beer in stead of a Slush Puppy.
I’d kill for a Slush Puppy at home, though.
Back in my day kids, we used to go out, to things call Malls, and then sit in a tightly packed room, and watch a movie on a screen, the size of a large house!
Get off my lawn!
I borrowed money from my grandparents to go sit and watch the first Superman movie showing in Durban in the old ice rink theater, twice in a row!
Senior Year
Streams on Netlix - 13 May
After a cheerleader falls off a pyramid and into a 20-year coma, she wakes up as a 37-year-old woman, ready to return to high school, regain her status and claim the prom queen crown that eluded her.
A cheerleading stunt gone wrong landed her in a 20-year coma. Now she’s 37, newly awake and ready to live out her high school dream: becoming prom queen.
Stars Rebel Wilson, Alicia Silverstone, Angourie Rice.
Streams on Netflix from Friday, 13 May.
What happened to Rebel. Does she suddenly have a thigh gap? She must be starving, poor woman.
“We made a terrible mistake.”
Duh.
Firestarter
In Theatres & Streaming on Peacock - 13 May
In a new adaptation of Stephen King’s classic thriller, a girl with extraordinary pyrokinetic powers fights to protect her family and herself from sinister forces that seek to capture and control her.
For more than a decade, parents Andy and Vicky have been on the run, desperate to hide their daughter Charlie from a shadowy federal agency that wants to harness her unprecedented gift for creating fire into a weapon of mass destruction.
It is a reboot of the 1984 film that launched Drew Barrymore’s career.
Stars Zac Efron, Ryan Kiera Armstrong, Sydney Lemmon, Kurtwood Smith, John Beasley, Michael Greyeyes, and Gloria Reuben.
Releases in theatres and Streams on Peacock on Friday, 13 May.
Peacock?
Yeah. NBC/Universal’s streaming service. We don’t get it here. Presumably via VPN and US address/billing info maybe. Also believe the streaming signal can be picked up here:
I had access for a long while with just an email account and VPN, but I think they are clamping down on that now.
Weird: The Al Yankovic Story
Roku Channel | Q3 2022
Explores every facet of Yankovic’s life, from his meteoric rise to fame with early hits like ‘Eat It’ and ‘Like a Surgeon’ to his torrid celebrity love affairs and famously depraved lifestyle.
Stars Daniel Ratcliffe, Rainn Wilson, Julianne Nicholson, Toby Huss and Evan Rachel Wood.
Streams on The Roku Channel sometime in “US Fall” 2022.
Looks like this is going to be a lot of fun. Born out of an old Funny or Die parody movie trailer, it’s a parody movie about a parody artist, a mockumentary of the self-important biopic genre.
Crimes of the Future
Cinema | 3 June
A deep dive into the not-so-distant future in which humankind is learning to adapt to its synthetic surroundings. This evolution moves humans beyond their natural state and into a metamorphosis, which alters their biological makeup.
Cronenberg’s first feature in eight years brings him back to his body horror roots with Viggo Mortensen and Léa Seydoux playing surgical performance artists who publicly showcase the metamorphosis of human organs in avant-garde performances. When their acts capture the attention of a National Organ Registry investigator (Kristen Stewart), the true government mission becomes clear: Organ transplants will lead to the next phase of human evolution.
Stars Viggo Mortensen, Léa Seydoux, Kristen Stewart, Scott Speedman, Don McKellar, Lihi Kornowski.
Limited release in Cannes Wednesday, 25 May, then wide release Friday, 3 June.
That’s some seriously freaky shit right there. Cronenberg takes no prisoners.
The Valet
Hulu | 20 May
A movie star enlists a parking valet at a Beverly Hills restaurant to pose as her lover to cover for her relationship with a married man.
A fish out of water romantic comedy where two worlds and cultures collide as both Antonio (Eugenio Derbez) and Olivia (Samara Weaving) start to see themselves more clearly than ever before.
Stars Eugenio Derbez, Samara Weaving, Ravi Patel, Amaury Nolasco, John Pirruccello, Max Greenfield, Betsy Brandt, Marisol Nichols.
Streams on Hulu from Friday, 20 May.
What the heck…?