My wife came across this one and told me I should put it here with Oltman’s dad jokes 
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Respect!!! 
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Studies have shown that when people become tired or exasperated they exhale heavily.
It’s sighence…
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lol you really have to emphasise a heavy sigh when telling the joke in person. The pause is crucial for delivery.
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My wife and I were travelling in Russia. While walking in the Red Square some precipitation came down. I said: “Oh look, its raining!” My wife, disagreed, saying: “Thats more like sleet than rain…”
After arguing (politely, as we all do) I saw our local tour guide, Rudolph, and told my wife “We can ask Rudolph what this is, and I am sure he will side with me…”
“Why are you so certain of that?” she asked.
“Well,” I replied, “Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear…”
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I love elevator jokes
They work on so many levels
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Bro, can you pass me that leaflet?
Brochure.
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Did you hear about the new game called “silent tennis”?
It’s just like normal tennis but without the racket…
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What a wafer them to screw up!
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I can tolerate algebra, maybe even a bit of calculus…
But geometry is where I draw the line.
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This one is courtesy of comedian Don McMillan:
I asked my Dad why he never put money in the basket at church.
He said we were: “Non-Denominational”
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I invented a device that translates exams into Braille for blind students…
It raises a lot of questions!
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People say I’m condescending.
That means I talk down to them.
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People say I’m conceited.
But they’re wrong, because that’s a flaw, and I’m perfect.
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Ahhh Terry, I had supper with the man back in the day when he visited South Africa. Was a great experience.
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I ordered a chicken from Amazon, and an egg from Takealot.
I’ll let you know.
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That is quite clever 
Not mine, I just localized it 
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