My friend borrowed my grandfather clock.
He owes me big time!
My friend borrowed my grandfather clock.
He owes me big time!
Did you hear about the 2 antennas that got married?
The wedding was terrible, but the reception was amazing!
I just found out that you don’t need training to be a garbage man.
You just pick it up as you go along.
I also just found out my countertops are made of marble.
All this time I’ve been taking them for granite.
Where did the IT guy go?
He ransomware…
My oldest son sees my latest book on my desk and asks…
Son: What do you get when you hit someone with a pickle?
Me: …
Son: Jürgen Klopp (Gherkin Klap)
At least that’s what he was trying to get it
Now days, people don’t use the name Lance very often
In medieval times, people were named Lance a lot
What’s the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with breast implants?
One is a Crusty Bus Station and the other is a Busty Crustation…
Did anyone see my Gone in 60 seconds DVD?
It was here a minute ago.
Definitely a dad joke in that the kids of today wouldn’t even know about that movie!
I invented a new word…
… plagiarism!