Dad Jokes (Now in 2025)

My friend borrowed my grandfather clock.

He owes me big time!

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Did you hear about the 2 antennas that got married?

The wedding was terrible, but the reception was amazing!

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I just found out that you don’t need training to be a garbage man.
You just pick it up as you go along.

I also just found out my countertops are made of marble.
All this time I’ve been taking them for granite.

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Where did the IT guy go?

He ransomware…

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My oldest son sees my latest book on my desk and asks…

Son: What do you get when you hit someone with a pickle?
Me: …
Son: Jürgen Klopp (Gherkin Klap)

At least that’s what he was trying to get it :rofl:

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Now days, people don’t use the name Lance very often
In medieval times, people were named Lance a lot

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What’s the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with breast implants?
One is a Crusty Bus Station and the other is a Busty Crustation…

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Did anyone see my Gone in 60 seconds DVD?
It was here a minute ago.

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Definitely a dad joke in that the kids of today wouldn’t even know about that movie!

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I invented a new word…

… plagiarism!

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